Premism and the cults

"What is your next step?" is a question I am most asked by my parents and friends. It is also the question I least ask myself, because usually I look at what is passing by and hear my gut decide to follow it or not. The latest decision in the making is "Where to take the next steps you want to take?" Surely it's not at par with decisions about the Maoists, approaching monsoons-potholes and Japan's nuclear problem, but they sort of are, at the personal front.
The choice of destinations are Bombay and Bangalore as I might have discussed earlier in posts on the blog, conversations in cafes (if you are where I am) and other popular ways of booking faces- facebook. Because you see this question is connected to the deepest question man can ever ask, that of love, amour, of prem.

Ask me how?

Because all decisions are ways loving yourself, all choices are ways of carving better roads minus potholes and Maoists for yourself . (In the path of love, fearlessly we choose the path with potholes a many; but even a mother's carefulness is love.) I know the discontented restlessness one can I have from not being sufficiently productive or not justifying your talents, not blossoming to one's true potential and definitely not translating it into a means of income. These have been very efficiently illustrated with Mr. Father and Mrs. Mother. But none of the understanding rules out a feeling- The Feeling . None of Knowing What To Do, takes away the Waiting Till The Time Is Right and Knowing Today And Not Knowing Tomorrow.
All of this has, simply, to be sat through and enjoyed in good company and good weather like a movie on someone else's tragic but eventful life - full of miserability rescued by unexpected miracles. miserability rescued by miracles. i like that.So, I live in a cult home. The cult/religion/philosophy is work and make no friends, specially make no conversation unless it solves a function that you are aware of. So nothing goes without thinking of Where, What and How this will be received/understood/folded up and forgotten. As you may notice this is quite opposite of my manifesto and the way GOD has made me. So I find myself typing long hours of nonsense only to say DELETE ALL. I take walks in the park staring at the trees and thanking them for the shade, sometimes when no one is looking I dare to hug.
Although, yesterday was a freak circus in the nightsky TM when all the lanets united over drinks and pop corn to stare down at the little green patch on the earth. This very cult decided to go out for a random dinner and we ended up at a place in the dark, so dark you needed to ask for another candle. To which the waiter said "What!?! Another candle?!" Seems within 5.6 secs of entry we were already demanding too much. Then the cult continued within large pockets of silence to exchange a few words and even a few laughs. Some times the caps, and glasses came off to expose the true vulnerability of a wine drinking soul who would like to be happy but is too busy being intelligent and useful.