Love Sick Century

This century
of half empty hearts
half full times
and seeming happy families
tells me much less than
the past.
It is why I wish
to be born in the past.
Sometimes I think
We need a war.

A sticky note from my head.

When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college - that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, "You mean they forget?" ~Howard Ikemoto

Altered Nivea Ad

Altered Magazine Pages
my current obsession

Birthday gift to AK from Chamki

Anonymous said...
Well, i'm not man, but here's something for you, "chamki"

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Someone left this for me HERE on Mahima's blog!
Thank you anonymous
you are a phenomenal woman too.

News Update in Shinedom

I'm in a strange mood today. I think something is going to be destroyed!
Something is going to change!!!
But it will change before you can guess it.

A few moments later...
Here it is!
The winterie looking Chamko Rani blog.
Now onward you don't need to take the pain of clicking on an additional link
I make life easier
I present Chamko Rani fishing!

hee hee

The cover for my new travel journal.

The words are a song by Joni Mitchell who is also the girl in the picture.
The big yellow taxi is also a song by her.
This book is a little something I will use to immortalise the places i visit and the people I meet over the next 2 weeks.The size is bigger than what i am used to and working around it is difficult but challenges are always inviting. The big secret is that I'm going to Nepal on the 26th of this lovely month! Christmas I will celebrate in Delhi.The excitement doesn't let me live!

Things that worry me

1. My Father's health
2. My future plans: study, money, theatre, art, marriage, kids, study, money, theatre, art
   
3. Love
4. Increasing pollution
5. What I think people think about me
6. What I think about me
7. My capabilities
8. Dead Genius
9. The inability to ignore what I see
10. Dependence on people for joy
11. Moods
12. Loneliness
13. Money
14. Home, Mine and also the one I have now is not secure
15. All that is , was and will be
16. Separation
17. Disintegrating relationships. The friends, the bright sparks fizzling out.
    
18. Awkward silences
19. Unsent letters
20. My degrading health
    

Things I like to do at home

1. Sleep
   
2. Listen to music
3. Look out of the window
4. Draw things and put them up on the walls
5. Decorate, according to festival or season
6. Water my plants
7. Cook, once in a while
8. Pray
9. Watch a film
   
10. Telephone
11. Call people over
12. Bake
13. Be
14. Cut my nails
15. Play video games
16. Dance
17. Write
18. Work on the Computer
    

Feel free to add your own as comments

My Nepal to-do list as Mahima puts it.

Big Secret revealed

Shakespearecoldcoffeebluelightstrangeroom
fragnantgrandmothershawl biryanidogwhite
989fridgediwaliwinteroatsmilkwindowsea
strangeconversation honeyeggspeanutbutter
lovescooterhuggingridesnightsdrinkssweater
imaginedwinelovedanceestrangedlostin
translationsmelllovestrangehurtneck
confusionambiguoushurtfutureliar.King liar.
sanityinsanitydistancechaostearsnights
awakemessageseidlovestrangelove
fantasy216countrieshopestorystrange
loveblacksixteensecondslemongrassoil
icecreamcapcheckedshirtbob
dylanciggarettelipsarmsitain'tmebabe
rollingstones39silveranklet60strange
thisloveis.rushflytearsuitcase.don'tit
allseemtogothatyoudon'tknowwhat
you'vegottillitsgone.onelovewhiskey
lensesgymboylovegoneback

The last few days are busy patches of rush, dust, eroding wind and boring classes sandwiched between James' and Peter's emails in the morning before I leave for college and Purva's emails in the evening. So much to look forward to.

Thank you angels.

There is something real big shaping up. But I don't want to tell you guys just yet. Take your time to guess. Leave them as comments. People who know don't say it!

The pressure and the expectation of the 300^th post has prevented me from writing anything for the blog these days. I thought about what is interesting enough to blog and mark as the 300^th. Well… the answer I got is my life! My life, at least to me is or should be of primary concern. With great difficulty I shut out people who are not into me but occupy too much mental space and began writing this post. This post is meant to be like one of my free writing sessions for my Stream Of Consciousness book. This post is timed, I write all that I can think about in 10 minutes. I talk about what realizations I had had recently, being 20 something now.

To list them roughly

• I don’t think finding love is going to be easy. With more and more people shaking my belief in something called love I doubt sometimes (brief but significant) its existence. It is too complicated and calculated now. I don’t know how I can fall crazy in love with anyone now, knowing what happened in the past. I do fall in love with people all the time. Several at the same time even. But they…
• I don’t have any friends. A few genuine people who love me but live far away in time and space. A few who I may be separated from in the coming months. A few who I think are friends but are really not. A few whom I upgrade to being a friend too soon and get disappointed by. A few who just don’t care but hang around. Mahima, Pallavi are there I know. I hope we can keep in touch later.
• At the end of the day, I am lonely. Not one, but in a sense half. Half of me against me.
• Everyday I break and build and break again.
• I’m saturated with philosophy, Chinese food, my daily commute and being lovesick.
• I am sticky. I cling to people who don’t really like me and then force them to like me. I hate them because they don’t like me enough. I hate myself really.
• I want to spend most nights on the road, walking and singing.
• I don’t know what I plan.
• I can never plan.
• There are a few people I really love and I show them that.
• There are very few people who want to be loved.

Ok. 10 minutes up. I can’t edit it so… best of luck guys

Men, relationships and the things that never end

Sister: I want things clear and i tried my best to keep them that way.
Me: I think combed hair and clean things mess up first.

I'm giving up.
Again.

Last night's reading with M

This is my mind in tarot. Anyone is free to do a reading.
These are the reasons I have been like I have been.
The cards in the top row are how I am on the outside and
how am I dealing with what I feel.
The card at the base is the subconscious reason for the state.

The reading I got said
I am making large issues small.
Avoiding them. Not facing them.

All the cards in the reading are major arcana.
This says a lot in itself.

Fingers crossed.
Chamki.

Oh Look!

Fishing : updated.
WORDS ON RENT: new link added. Waterless.