The Big Bang has happened many times

 Continued from the wick and wax...
I remember trying to understand if we were actually the makers of our fate, would my father choose to put himself to sickness, or my mother choose to put herself through agony. We might be the makers of our fate at some level, through our actions, our karma but we are surely not in control of it. We are not conscious of it.

The wick and the wax. The glass and the water

In response to a friend's belief that we are the makers of our fate and life doesn't happen to us. My belief (I don't think belief is the best word for what I meant here) : Both are true, but within a certain way of looking.
We are the wick and not the wax. We are the medium, the temporary vessel. Many many layer below identity the particles are the same but at observable reality the glass is not the water.
What if the glass said "the water is mine" or "I am the water".

Goa Journal from last season

 A small notebook 2 inches by 3 inches, housing little words and feelings, documenting a few P2C2E.

 

a bit about Page 1: It has sort of become a simple ritual to put down a rough set of intentions when I set out for a new place. Doing this in the middle of nowhere, I mean on a flight and then waking up at the destination. Probably much like birth. I used to think it was pretty much like Plato said, we sat on a chair and decided why we would be born in this matrix and wrote it down under a dim lamp at night.( To learn a few things- some learn about loss, or love, or safety or anger, mostly all. This could probably explain why it is sometimes easy to predict with natal charts, horoscopes and such, what might this birth be like.) Then we drink the water from the river of forgetfulness and are born crying, only to go through life, a strange video game and discover (or not!) the lessons we set out for ourselves.
But lately this idea is being replaced with the Buddhist view - birth is because of death and death because of birth, and the role of karma, conditioning etc and whole lot of other realisations about my self and the world. Anyway, I'm no authority on these matters, about Buddha and His Teachings, its best to read the book I've been gifted... I shall post excerpts from it someday.

PS: P2C2E : processes too complicated to explain (Salman Rushdie, Haroun and the Sea of Stories.)

Papa dear

Papa was in a nursing home for 12 days. He's home now. Doctors have said Interstitial Lung Disease.
I've moved in with my parents after 5 years. We play his favourite music, compete over food and ask all visitors to say a joke and bring wit and laughter instead of asking what the doctors say. He's tired of that.
He bosses mum and me around. We obey and sometimes don't. He walks a bit now, eats a bit more that he did in hospital and coughs a lot. I do my morning and evening practice around him. Sometimes, he likes to meditate while I do. He worries a lot, and gets angry easily. But finding no competing aggressor, the anger fizzles out. He worries over me and my finances, a secure future for me, and a good-natured husband. Mum and me wish him ease and patience. Patience, acceptance and love.

On Fear and Love II

Pages from last years journal that talk about Fear and Love.
Looking back at these pages reminds me of the little people called Swabeedoohs.
They exchanged warm soft fleeces freely till one day they got all precious about it .Suddenly,from that moment on, it was never certain whether their fleece was welcome, well deserved or appropriate. We can get caught up in similar mathematics in the matter of Love. Often fearing that our love will go unnoticed, be one-sided, or not be reciprocated. 
I don't know the answers to this, what is love, what is romance. How much is ok, and how. But I do know when love comes, it best to address it, share it, find out more about what it really is, how it makes you feel, or behave and learn.