I want to do things I want to do and not the things I should do. I don't want to focus on one job right now and just drag myself through it. I can't commit to the full time courses because I need to earn at the same time. Its sad. How will I ever be what I want to be- which also is not very clear. How will I ever do anything? This is how your birthday feels when it begins when the first face you see in the morning is your ugly neighbour who wants to know everything in your life. She is the only one who wants to know what happens, who comes in and who leaves. I want to bunk work and cry today about how I manage to get myself into these things. I'll go right back to sleep and wake up again to see the naked man poster in the living room. That should set things right.
and yeah...Vatsala's really long tag coming up soon.
I want to be a dancer-artist too! really. but I'm 37 and have a medical degree that I really SHOULD make use of....and of course, money to make...hmmm. hurumph. It is alot to think about ...but doing what one loves can lead to something that so many people wish for...happiness and a sense of purpose...and more potentially to give...what makes it possible...another job for money?....being open to changes along the way...not as weakness, but as willingness to listen to one's heart....to try and see what happens...to do what we must along the way...but not let it keep us from thinking beyond it....
ReplyDeletebusy busy here...having a late night...insomnia I guess...hang in there...think, look, consider...and then do it again..I say to myself...that and ...get to sleep!;-)