26-01-2006

Happy Republic Day

Chamko Rani aka Bling Bling Queen

This shy smile character (the boy) is my cousin who is getting married with the goofy smile character on the 29th of January and has been brave enough to get married in Kaithal, Haryana which is our native place, up north, 20 minutes from Kurukshetra which is the place where the Battle of Mahabharat was fought( in the famous epic called Mahabharat!!)
So, I'm off for the next 6 days...

Ill be eating the most delicious food, and loads of it!!
Ill be wearing flashy clothes, fake hair, and clothes like bar dancers!!
Ill have a camera!! and will come back with many many pictures of the wedding
and the city!
There will be lots of desi music, dhol!!, band-baaja, lots of crazy aunties with dark maroon lipstick and loud shreaky voices, men with fat tummies and moustaches, kids with names like Nanu, Chotu, Googy, Miku, Panu! yes Panu is the name of the bride groom!!

OK i know, you are going to miss me! hee hee
Ill leave you with a preview of what I will be wearing ...

link to capricious confabulation

capricious confab: de-stress

fantabulous!! for all of us... go check this out.
its hilarious!

The Election Special: Double Digest For @$/- only

There was girl called Chamki. One day there came elections for her college's French Club...
And voila!
look she is a super hero!!
hee hee
Well this is how I'm going to be campaigning for the elections...
Go Captain Frenchie!

Link to Deens blog.

nDee eDen: what does nothing sound like?
simple and straight
worth its weight,
reason or fate?
good or great?

Think about it...
Ill like to hear
what nothing sounds like to you.

nice thought Deen.

I cant write anything beautiful. I feel ugly.

I want to run to the beach and scream your name out. I know tears. The sea will be comforting, for it makes no difference, it readily accepts my tears like a mother opens her arms for her baby. I want to write your name all over the sand. I want to scream your name, i want to write it all over the sand. That name which i dont let my lips utter, i cant say your name, for my mother or my father might hear it. I would tell my friends but they feel i'm sick, i'm ill. I can picture your name on sand. Your name, there for all the people to look at, for them to walk over it. I know what you think, what will this do?What does anything I do now change anyway? You didnt let me do anything. But what did you do? You wont dare to think of it. You dont feel guilty. You stole my life from me. But that doesnt matter now. Now its not about you, because I dont know you. I dont know you anymore, I still know the you I am in love with. But not the you who lies. Not the you who forgets the small things in life? Is life only for one's convenience? Is it only for one's end? Is it only for you to be what you want? I am not saying these words but merely echoing what you believe. Where is what you called 'living for other people?'. And i am not even asking for any sort of sacrifice, I simply asked you to tell me the truth. But to lie is so convenient. You call me someone who wanted to run away, what to you think about yourself? I see you, you see me and then life gets back to you. Its so convenient to not let yourself feel. I had a friend say to me the other day, if you feel you are drowning ill pull you back, and then those are the people who have their lives to live. I cant expect them to listen to what i say, obsorb all the ugly colour i spray. But you know what i said, I said i dont want to be pulled back, I will swim. Its these little things that seem like mere sentences, that change nothing in your life, but to me, they are signs all the time. They are the stories of me. I dont want you to know how long my hair has grown, I am scared. Thats why i made sure my hair was neatly tied last night. I will not let you see it. I will not take my cycle from home. Its not just your home, its mine too, and you cant make me unbelieve. I do have some control over my life. I will. I will feel pretty again, go to goa , get a hair cut and I will listen to Bjork's Medulla one day. I will write beautiful one day.


I write it all here on this page, nowhere but everywhere, noone can see it but everyone can, and its not meant for anyone but everyone can read it.

4 grams of courage

i feel ugly
you make me ugly
i feel old
this whole thing makes me grey
i want happy days again
i want to run away
i looked away
i know
i dont want to know of
the existence of people
who can lie
i dont want to know
but you are my babie no?
why did u ruin 4 years of love,
marriage
with 4 months of lie?
for what?

At Office

To EVAM,

thats me at office
EVAM, an international residency for theatre research and performance
Atuls' dream since the past 8 years, begins to take shape today
with the exhibition Tao Art Gallery.

I worked in EVAM's office till 26th September 2005.

malayalam

tsop rehtona tsuj

gninaem wen elohw a "tpelsrevo" drow eht gnivig ma i

FTW

nettirw si tsop siht
tfel ot thgir morf
yrev siht ekil etirw i
ti depyt reven i tub netfo
krow lliw ti fi rednow I

I love sleep.
My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake

Ernest Hemingway

GOLDEN JUBILEE HALF CENTURY

HAPPY 50 TO ME!!
This is my 50th post!

Chamki Flower Series Part VI

Chamki Flower Series Part V

hsiw i

Chamki Flower Series Part IV

burkha girl

Mon Chapeau

Quand je porte mon chapeau gris
C'est pour aller dans la pluie.
Quand je porte mon chapeau vert
C'est que je suis en colère.
Quand je porte mon chapeau bleu
C'est parce que je suis déjà mieux.
Quand je porte mon chapeau blanc
C'est parce que je suis très content.

this is a peom in french,
i wrote

oh yeah! its the magic

explodingdog2005

come closer

explodingdog2005

labyrinths: Who dares enter the dark labyrinths of the human mind?

labyrinths: Who dares enter the dark labyrinths of the human mind?
poem
part of my blog tour

The riverman and the saturday sun

a few months ago
i was years younger
time took my life from me
my face changed
my writing too

I dont know what i grieve for
you
me
him
the two

the same song i heard
when i went to bangalore
when we saw the huge
white wind mills
the same song i hear
when we spent endless
afternoons lazing around in
the bedshaped bed

i dont know what i grieve

its easy to put
box on box
betrayal on trust
convenience on commitment

the same song i heard
when we sat in the theatre
watched movies, passed the water
head on shoulder
whispers
the same song i tried to make you hear
but you never cared

I'm happy, fly kites
walk around sing songs
but then i get home
play this song
and grieve for love
for hope

I crave
I cry
I write
atleast I try
I cant look them in the eye
I dont want to die


no im not doing it again
and this is not a poem
but something i just put up staright
in my blog
words i sent
to float in cyber space

i was made to love magic - Nick Drake

I was born to love no one
No one to love me
Only the wind in the long green grass
The frost in a broken tree.

I was made to love magic
All it’s wonder to know
But you all lost that magic
Many many years ago.

I was born to use my eyes
Dream with the sun and the skies
To float away in a lifelong song
In the mist where melody flies.

I was made to love magic...

I was born to sail away
Into a land of forever
Not to be tied to an old stone grave
In your land of never.

I was made to love magic...
this is a song by Nick Drake

i was born to love magic

nick drake
cigarettes
books
guitar
window
air gun
this day
i remember you
guilty kisses

but i'm not sure i want those times back
i can't deal with anything
i can't deal with anyone
i dont want to be me
i can't look into their eyes

how it all began
with him
with you
then bangalore
then again
you
him
now its me
alone
but then again do i stop?
why cant i just not think when nick drake plays
its just another song
so is sting
dont look at the moon

why do we forget yet
treasure things in little pockets?
why do i see the cigarette smoke again
against the sun
while he sings
things behind the sun?
if he tells me all he knows
about the way his river flows
...

why is it such a mess in my head?
you
him
me

how they come and go.

dot to dot

try this one
are the dots in the centre the same size?
no?
check again.

did you just see them move?

silly things people do when they dont know what to do

Profound Gibberish: Yet another useless questionnaire...

Profound Gibberish: Yet another useless questionnaire...

For all the poeple who tried to shoo a fly with the mouse pointer!!
quite funny

The Poet & His Discontents: The Fan

The Poet & His Discontents: The Fan

On my tour of cyber space
i collect little pieces of broken sea glass
and here is just one little bit
so... savour it

waste of time: on my way to work....

waste of time: on my way to work....

Bombays own way of letting
you know that you are just
a little part of it.
God! this is practically
everyday of my life.


this is a link to a friend aneesh's post

poems are like cats
they have a funny way of coming to you
when you dont call them
and shying away when you want them

little me celeb!

1. On google image search type "divya sharma"
2. go to the second page (yeah, im not that big a celeb to be on the first)
3. see my picture in a blue sweater!!
hee hee!!
heres the link to it, for the lazy ones.
well, im not doing so bad, am i?

a whole that can be shared.

nDee eDen: a whole that can be shared.

while i'm on my break,
read some good stuff.
Nikhil (cousin) and jyoti read this one!!

NOTE

need time to get some churning
to end
see you guys in a couple of days,
if you are lucky
may be a post
tomorrow
but, i doubt that.

love and big bear hug,
chamki

chamki
scientific name: chamko rani

telegraph 1.45.9037

college begins
flashy new label
for notebook for the new year
i see him
the same
still on the phone
hair still long
i try to write
nothing comes to mind
broken sentences
words sometimes
life pushes to harden
i refuse to refuse
numb
jumble things around
lose what i found
new toy
new toy
silly boy
i wont be late again
new year resolution
phenobarbitone
also called
gardinol
life
blink 20
keyboard
alphabets
piano
random
boring
numb again
no effect just truth
no form
no meaning
no structure
angle?
numb again