SEE WITH EYES SHUT

Every week I get something like this

General Weekly Love Horoscope

Tender feelings can be easily bruised this weekend as moods swing so fast that there's no time to explain them. The ups and downs of romance may undermine security in relationships, but a flexible attitude makes it possible to adjust quickly and maintain one's balance. Seek new experiences without shocking someone you love.

Thats all the love in my life. Not one email contains the word love, not one message, not one phone call. So my flatmates hear about it all the time. They think I'm the perfect candidate to star in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.So we got a copy and watched it. I've made notes even. I can't receive messages again and I'm glad this one time.There is a lot that has been happening. Too much to handle actually. From being subjected to a lot of gossip about people you know, about people you don't know- Bollywood gossip, to heading an institution called FOLA (frustrated one sided lovers association) to being gifted Tarot card decks, treats, wine, fights with parents, meeting up old friends, cursing all the friends who didn't meet me (plenty) and a pleasant walk around the area I live on New Year eve, I've done it all, in style and drama, TECHNICOLOUR I say.

Class has been great the past few days. I've been in a trance. I don't really know what I want to say about this but when I'm dancing some thoughts come to me. I can't say they are entirely mine because the music and the teachers influence them.

1. pretty things are not beautiful, they are a cluster of pretty things.
2. to please is easy. (I dont want to)

3. Extreme physical movement conditions you. Its addicting and you can have withdrawal symptoms.

4. european contemporary dance is like scribbling. it doesn't want to say anything meaningful. It doesn't want you to think over things, find symbols that relate to your everyday. It makes movement and thats it. It makes a space fluid, compact, thick and it plays with time, the only things present at the point of the performance. Its egoless, very conceptual.

5. light begins from dark.

6. i don't want what i wish for.

7. Writers make characters out of themselves in their real lives. Finding comfort in defining for themselves and those around what kind of person they are.

8. Two windows of a train are never the same shade of yellow.

9. I am (so much) better off writing my thoughts in a book then saying them aloud or texting them to random creatures of the night.

10. Candles with big flames look like they are crying.

11.I'm afraid of people who make promises.

12. I'm my best self alone. I've decided to be that way.

13. some nights in Bangalore are extremely cold. Almost unreal. On such nights if you go out cycling the only way to keep warm is to push your body to its extreme. The faster you go the colder your skin gets and gently a warmth rises somewhere within. This warmth is the only peace that can put you to sleep.

14. I see no glory in loneliness and pain.

Thats my number bulleted head for those of you who still wander about here. I'm seriously reconsidering the existence of this blog.

chamki