SEE WITH EYES SHUT

These days I feel I have stopped feeling good. All I can feel is trapped.
I write only pretentious happy things and random happenings on my blog.
I write the wrong kind of things to the wrong people.
This is an email that got no reply,
leaving it here in hope that someone somewhere understands.

BBB,

How do we learn to gauge what we are for people?

How do we know how much is how much?

How can we know how much is not too much?

Who do you share your mood swings with?

How can I know whom to share those with?

And will people tell me if its not ok to share those with them?

Are people brave and polite enough to say

that they dont care about what I say to them if they dont.

Is talking so much abnormal?

Are people who have siblings not like me?

Is it ok to share such things with people?

Do people feel talking about what you feel is silly.

Am i self obsessed?

Is there anything I should do about it?

Is there anything that can be done?

You think I must be putting people off by how I am?

You think i doubt myself too much?

You think I think too much?

Is it because I am alone?

Is it because there is so much space in my head now.

Do you think like this too?

About what people think about you sometimes.

I hate it when I feel like that in relation to friends.

I mean how happy can you be if you get the feeling that the other person does a favour

to you by talking to you.

You think sometimes that people dont want to talk to you or dont want to listen?

you think sometimes that you must be different in a bad way from most people and

that makes people not want to talk to you?

You think some people just dont deserve love?

You think I am one of them?

you think sometimes that doing a particular thing will be making a fool of yourself and

still go ahead do it,

like I am writing this email?

Do you think I must be a bother to people and thats why they left me?

Do you believe that i must be responsible for my misery?

Do you think I shouldn't ask you all these questions? Even a little bit?

Do you think I need therapy?

Do you think I should not be asking you these questions?

I know I'm repeating but I'm really asking.

I constantly doubt people.

I constantly think that they think I'm 'high maintenance'.

Someone told me that once.

Do you think being honest is being obsessive and being baggage?

Do you think having a limit to your relationship be it any kind is ok?

How do you gauge these limits?