SEE WITH EYES SHUT

Movies do something to me. Movies always do something to me.
I've just watched Constantine alone in my friend Hari's house while he is in Hyderabad attending a wedding. I spent the day alone, doing my laundry, trying to keep the cat happy and out of the house at the same time. I've told you guys that I have been listening to Clap your hands and say Yeah! one of their songs has the word Satan being chanted throughout. I thought it was all fun till I saw the movie I saw today. This song has been on my mind and playlist since Wednesday. Friday, I saw a movie that spoke about death on a holiday. I've finished drinking 2 litres of water in the past 2 hrs and my throat is still dry. Since the past 3 days I've been unable to receive any messages from anyone. At first I thought people just don't care, then I thought nobody loves me, but now it all seems to fit in some larger plan. My only contact with anyone I know and could trust is gtalk! So I'm typing here till someone comes online and talks to me and saves me from Mammon. I did some drawings while watching the film and I can't look at them. They aren't anything close to the images in the film but I know what they are and I'm really really scared.

But how fascinating is the concept of being submerged to be able to make a transition smoothly. I mean I'm not particularly impressed by the movie but that doesn't say anything about feeling. I'm feeling whether I like the film or not. Thank God for commercial breaks!

The only other reassuring thing is that all this might be true for Christians, and I'm not one. So I should just think myself to sleep, this is a film, you are feeling, you are the infinite, there is no God, only the everything and the nothing, only one indescribable complete.